








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1456 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3052 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1153 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1898 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,460,391 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Tee- | 49% | 249 |
| #2 | Lerpsuilija | 48% | 281 |
| #3 | Picordiol | 48% | 122 |
| #4 | muumikeisari | 46% | 194 |
| #5 | tomi | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lerpsuilija | 48% | 281 |
| #3 | Picordiol | 48% | 122 |
| #4 | muumikeisari | 46% | 194 |
| #5 | tomi | 46% | 39 |
| #6 | TheJunkyThrasher | 44% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lerpsuilija | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | -Tee- | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | muumikeisari | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Picordiol | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | TheJunkyThrasher | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lerpsuilija | 685 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | muumikeisari | 610 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | TheJunkyThrasher | 365 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Picordiol | 339 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | -Tee- | 293 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lerpsuilija | +2.54 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | tomi | +1.86 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | bimi | +1.58 | 78 | 48 |
| #4 | muumikeisari | +0.20 | 75 | 44 |
| #5 | Picordiol | -1.22 | 62 | 58 |





