








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 681 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1212 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1168 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1738 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $886,944 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Carti*! | 52% | 168 |
| #2 | CUBAPEEK | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | kurwa bober | 49% | 182 |
| #4 | Rebeka | 48% | 215 |
| #5 | Grrrrr PoW | 47% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CUBAPEEK | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | kurwa bober | 49% | 182 |
| #4 | Rebeka | 48% | 215 |
| #5 | Grrrrr PoW | 47% | 128 |
| #6 | Papuchudo | 45% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grrrrr PoW | 28 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Papuchudo | 24 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Young Carti*! | 20 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Rebeka | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | kurwa bober | 9 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papuchudo | 787 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Young Carti*! | 619 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | Rebeka | 497 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | kurwa bober | 401 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | Grrrrr PoW | 146 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CUBAPEEK | +3.47 | 63 | 57 |
| #2 | kurwa bober | +3.22 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | Young Carti*! | +2.85 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | Papuchudo | +0.51 | 54 | 62 |
| #5 | Rebeka | +0.12 | 65 | 57 |





