








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4668 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2605 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 942 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 2487 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,181 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa bober | 51% | 184 |
| #2 | Grrrrr PoW | 48% | 143 |
| #3 | Young Carti*! | 48% | 141 |
| #4 | Rebeka | 47% | 254 |
| #5 | F1At_MuLt1pla_G4M1N6 | 45% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Grrrrr PoW | 48% | 143 |
| #3 | Young Carti*! | 48% | 141 |
| #4 | Rebeka | 47% | 254 |
| #5 | F1At_MuLt1pla_G4M1N6 | 45% | 244 |
| #6 | CUBAPEEK | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grrrrr PoW | 27 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | F1At_MuLt1pla_G4M1N6 | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Rebeka | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | kurwa bober | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Young Carti*! | 11 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rebeka | 541 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | Young Carti*! | 467 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | kurwa bober | 419 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Grrrrr PoW | 162 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | F1At_MuLt1pla_G4M1N6 | 132 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CUBAPEEK | +4.49 | 59 | 59 |
| #2 | kurwa bober | +3.14 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | Young Carti*! | +2.27 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Papuchudo | +0.40 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | Rebeka | +0.27 | 64 | 56 |





