








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 811 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2627 | 34% |
| Smokes | 912 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2170 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1909 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,203,413 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 624 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Carti*! | 55% | 145 |
| #2 | Rebeka | 55% | 174 |
| #3 | Grrrrr PoW | 54% | 84 |
| #4 | Papuchudo | 51% | 184 |
| #5 | F1At_MuLt1pla_G4M1N6 | 49% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Carti*! | 55% | 145 |
| #2 | Rebeka | 55% | 174 |
| #3 | Grrrrr PoW | 54% | 84 |
| #4 | Papuchudo | 51% | 184 |
| #5 | F1At_MuLt1pla_G4M1N6 | 49% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papuchudo | 21 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Grrrrr PoW | 19 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | F1At_MuLt1pla_G4M1N6 | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Young Carti*! | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Rebeka | 10 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papuchudo | 635 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | Young Carti*! | 501 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Rebeka | 411 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Grrrrr PoW | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | F1At_MuLt1pla_G4M1N6 | 93 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa bober | +2.74 | 62 | 56 |
| #2 | Young Carti*! | +1.16 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Papuchudo | +0.06 | 52 | 61 |
| #4 | Rebeka | -0.08 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | Grrrrr PoW | -2.26 | 61 | 46 |





