








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 707 | 33% |
| Smokes | 692 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 323 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 437 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,489 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sly | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Zoaco | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | A Cute Potato | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | breddie | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | urmuffinsrburnin | 52% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urmuffinsrburnin | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | light | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Glorp | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | RichardCheez | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | A Cute Potato | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urmuffinsrburnin | 275 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | RichardCheez | 136 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | breddie | 117 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #4 | Glorp | 73 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | A Cute Potato | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Алекс | +6.27 | 87 | 45 |
| #2 | alex | +2.59 | 78 | 46 |
| #3 | light | +1.71 | 71 | 48 |
| #4 | sly | +1.53 | 51 | 47 |
| #5 | A Cute Potato | +0.86 | 52 | 62 |





