










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 608 | 24% |
| Smokes | 759 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 477 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 719 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $217,550 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 【死】all3x | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Hullakvert | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Nuclear Power Plant | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | Costel Biju | 80% | 20 |
| #5 | OmuMewTraiBubbaTünde | 70% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Costel Biju | 80% | 20 |
| #5 | OmuMewTraiBubbaTünde | 70% | 30 |
| #6 | Papi aka Papito | 69% | 13 |
| #7 | Dildo | 33% | 18 |
| #8 | darealdomi | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 【死】all3x | 4 | 0.0284 |
| #2 | OmuMewTraiBubbaTünde | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Costel Biju | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Dildo | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Papi aka Papito | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OmuMewTraiBubbaTünde | 56 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Costel Biju | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | 【死】all3x | 32 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dildo | 27 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | darealdomi | 26 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAGic♕♕♕ | +2.11 | 26 | 51 |
| #2 | OmuMewTraiBubbaTünde | +0.77 | 46 | 58 |
| #3 | Papi aka Papito | +0.38 | 34 | 57 |
| #4 | 【死】all3x | +0.11 | 54 | 57 |
| #5 | Dildo | -0.06 | 40 | 37 |





