










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2545 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3281 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2190 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1310 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,497,585 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 【死】all3x | 25 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Nuclear Power Plant | 12 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Costel Biju | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Dildo | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Papi aka Papito | 6 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuclear Power Plant | 543 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | 【死】all3x | 435 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Costel Biju | 321 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dildo | 185 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Papi aka Papito | 129 | 0.10 | 3 min |





