








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1009 | 34% |
| Smokes | 844 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 653 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 486 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,628 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 致幻劑持續性知覺障礙 | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | KirkkoHerra | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Blessed | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Macxy | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | 21 | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Blessed | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Macxy | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | 21 | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | kone | 36% | 28 |
| #7 | Jäämies | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kone | 6 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Jäämies | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | 21 | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kone | 105 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | 21 | 60 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | Blessed | 49 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jäämies | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | KirkkoHerra | 23 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blessed | +2.67 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | 致幻劑持續性知覺障礙 | +0.52 | 43 | 53 |
| #3 | kone | +0.41 | 41 | 51 |
| #4 | Jäämies | +0.22 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | 21 | -0.58 | 68 | 42 |





