








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
79 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 33 | 21% |
| Smokes | 35 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 55 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 32 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,726 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blessed | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | 21 | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | kone | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Okko ☬ | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | KirkkoHerra | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 21 | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | kone | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Okko ☬ | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | KirkkoHerra | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | Jäämies | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jäämies | 5 | 0.0318 |
| #2 | 21 | 2 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | Blessed | 2 | 0.0317 |
| #4 | kone | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Okko ☬ | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Okko ☬ | 49 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #2 | kone | 39 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Blessed | 20 | 0.32 | 0 min |
| #4 | Jäämies | 18 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | KirkkoHerra | 8 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blessed | +10.21 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | Jäämies | +2.27 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | KirkkoHerra | +1.42 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | kone | +0.58 | 45 | 48 |
| #5 | Okko ☬ | -0.56 | 44 | 54 |





