








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




149 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5283 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2956 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4968 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3671 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,829 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !$crimr! (1312) | 62 | 0.0275 |
| #2 | Kosken | 25 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Superpybro1 | 22 | 0.0251 |
| #4 | ★ DaddyRyzz ★ | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Larsson | 7 | 0.0173 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !$crimr! (1312) | 669 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #2 | ★ DaddyRyzz ★ | 319 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kosken | 289 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Llama | 200 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Superpybro1 | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |





