








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 857 matches | ||
| Wingman | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12312 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9781 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9689 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6645 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,690,516 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2009 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinhead | 58% | 77 |
| #2 | Pöng | 53% | 90 |
| #3 | Miffosockerbit | 49% | 190 |
| #4 | Aday | 48% | 189 |
| #5 | niu | 48% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greger | 19 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Snylt | 10 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | mazlda | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Kosken | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Pöng | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AitchBeeSea | +5.44 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Pöng | +2.99 | 63 | 66 |
| #3 | Pinhead | +1.69 | 62 | 73 |
| #4 | Aday | +1.46 | 47 | 67 |
| #5 | Snylt | +1.33 | 52 | 69 |





