








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 298 | 39% |
| Smokes | 95 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 190 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 177 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,421 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kosken | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Trucker Aitch | 45% | 44 |
| #3 | ★ DaddyRyzz ★ | 45% | 40 |
| #4 | !$crimr! (1312) | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kosken | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Trucker Aitch | 45% | 44 |
| #3 | ★ DaddyRyzz ★ | 45% | 40 |
| #4 | !$crimr! (1312) | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trucker Aitch | 23 | 0.0262 |
| #2 | !$crimr! (1312) | 10 | 0.0271 |
| #3 | Kosken | 7 | 0.0187 |
| #4 | ★ DaddyRyzz ★ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trucker Aitch | 162 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | ★ DaddyRyzz ★ | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | !$crimr! (1312) | 85 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kosken | 43 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trucker Aitch | +3.33 | 76 | 75 |
| #2 | Kosken | +0.28 | 48 | 69 |
| #3 | ★ DaddyRyzz ★ | -0.78 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | !$crimr! (1312) | -1.19 | 78 | 41 |
| #5 | Superpybro1 | -3.51 | 33 | 44 |





