








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 426 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3986 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4368 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4873 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4346 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,531,748 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SayLess | 53% | 268 |
| #2 | -d̷j̷ǫ̵f̷u̶l̶l̴- | 52% | 151 |
| #3 | hoods | 49% | 90 |
| #4 | jinxツ | 49% | 74 |
| #5 | STEVE | 48% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | -d̷j̷ǫ̵f̷u̶l̶l̴- | 52% | 151 |
| #3 | hoods | 49% | 90 |
| #4 | jinxツ | 49% | 74 |
| #5 | STEVE | 48% | 102 |
| #6 | Scuba Steve | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SayLess | 20 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | STEVE | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | -d̷j̷ǫ̵f̷u̶l̶l̴- | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | hoods | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | jinxツ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SayLess | 1042 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | -d̷j̷ǫ̵f̷u̶l̶l̴- | 475 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | STEVE | 398 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | jinxツ | 233 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | hoods | 132 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jinxツ | +2.24 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | -d̷j̷ǫ̵f̷u̶l̶l̴- | +1.27 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | SayLess | +0.97 | 70 | 71 |
| #4 | Caspur | +0.25 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | hoods | -0.34 | 69 | 48 |





