








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 116 | 25% |
| Smokes | 139 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 148 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 69 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,751 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hunterrr | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | boiling potatoes atm | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Credi | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | toyota enjoyer | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | krisu! | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huppelihiiri | 2 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | boiling potatoes atm | 2 | 0.0357 |
| #3 | [Minimani Ac] Vhopper | 2 | 0.0370 |
| #4 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 1 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | toyota enjoyer | 1 | 0.0175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Markku | 48 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Raakkeni | 20 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #3 | #1 SUBWAY FAN GIRL | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | veputuinen | 15 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | ratte | 15 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Credi | +11.54 | 65 | 65 |
| #2 | boiling potatoes atm | +11.08 | 96 | 50 |
| #3 | ratte | +5.68 | 84 | 76 |
| #4 | Markku | +3.15 | 85 | 54 |
| #5 | Huppelihiiri | +1.41 | 81 | 66 |





