








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 783 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1268 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1284 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 641 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $397,082 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PavelKyrtsow | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | jatkatj | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | H4pp1er2 | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | eje | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Jus4 | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jus4 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | EnOle | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Lulu Ranne | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Allahu Snackbar | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Pesne | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jus4 | 141 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Rotta | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lulu Ranne | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | H4pp1er2 | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | eje | 30 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jus4 | +4.15 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | eje | +3.44 | 93 | 74 |
| #3 | MrHiisi | +2.22 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | Eero | +1.91 | 80 | 59 |
| #5 | Weksi | +1.06 | 63 | 62 |





