








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 331 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1142 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 773 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1016 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,160 of utility $266 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 619 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eje | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Jus4 | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | H4pp1er2 | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Lulu Ranne | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Eero | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Eero | 41% | 27 |
| #6 | Rotta | 39% | 36 |
| #7 | Allahu Snackbar | 31% | 16 |
| #8 | PavelKyrtsow | 20% | 10 |
| #9 | LCKY-Luke | 0% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PavelKyrtsow | 3 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Jus4 | 2 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | Rotta | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | LCKY-Luke | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rotta | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Eero | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | eje | 38 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jus4 | 27 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Allahu Snackbar | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jus4 | +3.51 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | eje | +3.14 | 95 | 68 |
| #3 | EnOle | +1.45 | 80 | 45 |
| #4 | Eero | +1.17 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | Rotta | +0.20 | 59 | 64 |





