








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 865 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 968 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14399 | 28% |
| Smokes | 13384 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 11720 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 12330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,353,481 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Eðalfáviti | 48% | 91 |
| #11 | Alpha | 48% | 664 |
| #12 | dadimarjons | 47% | 304 |
| #13 | Flosinnn | 47% | 86 |
| #14 | Hj0zzi⭕⃤ | 46% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alpha | 858 | 0.06 | 25 min |
| #2 | voC!- | 790 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #3 | dadimarjons | 503 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | TreeFiddy | 332 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | Smoke | 270 | 0.14 | 5 min |





