








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1956 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3182 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2715 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2796 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,672,762 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mind cntrl | 46% | 24 |
| #9 | voC!- | 45% | 195 |
| #10 | Húgó | 41% | 82 |
| #11 | Eðalfáviti | 40% | 73 |
| #12 | TreeFiddy | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Húgó | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Eðalfáviti | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Shego | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | voC!- | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | TreeFiddy | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voC!- | 781 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | Shego | 308 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | TreeFiddy | 159 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | mind cntrl | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Húgó | 55 | 0.03 | 1 min |





