








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 451 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4117 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7123 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 6165 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4389 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,785,244 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barium | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | br1an | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | TykHvalp | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | pape | 51% | 100 |
| #5 | Moonie | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Moonie | 48% | 69 |
| #6 | BooZy | 45% | 458 |
| #7 | Johnson | 43% | 440 |
| #8 | aasted | 43% | 410 |
| #9 | REA The Svin That Svir's | 41% | 418 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REA The Svin That Svir's | 22 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | BooZy | 19 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Johnson | 18 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | aasted | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Moonie | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BooZy | 837 | 0.08 | 26 min |
| #2 | Johnson | 486 | 0.05 | 15 min |
| #3 | aasted | 467 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #4 | REA The Svin That Svir's | 367 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #5 | TykHvalp | 197 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TykHvalp | +5.57 | 68 | 80 |
| #2 | br1an | +5.37 | 79 | 74 |
| #3 | Moonie | +4.87 | 56 | 56 |
| #4 | pape | +3.67 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | Johnson | +1.80 | 46 | 61 |





