








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 675 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1837 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3404 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4626 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2529 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,221,432 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pape | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | TykHvalp | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | aasted | 43% | 384 |
| #4 | BooZy | 43% | 405 |
| #5 | mAuL | 43% | 440 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | aasted | 43% | 384 |
| #4 | BooZy | 43% | 405 |
| #5 | mAuL | 43% | 440 |
| #6 | REA The Svin That Svir's | 41% | 381 |
| #7 | Moonie | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REA The Svin That Svir's | 21 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | BooZy | 17 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | mAuL | 9 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | aasted | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | TykHvalp | 5 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BooZy | 744 | 0.08 | 24 min |
| #2 | aasted | 446 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #3 | mAuL | 416 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | REA The Svin That Svir's | 325 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | TykHvalp | 156 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TykHvalp | +5.66 | 67 | 81 |
| #2 | Moonie | +4.02 | 55 | 56 |
| #3 | pape | +4.02 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | Johnson | +1.76 | 46 | 61 |
| #5 | aasted | +0.14 | 26 | 60 |





