








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1668 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 821 matches | ||
| Faceit | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 219 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12765 | 26% |
| Smokes | 13949 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 10737 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 11705 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,259,966 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AssasS1No ✯ | 63% | 56 |
| #2 | aNdY-jOE | 62% | 82 |
| #3 | A Wild Junkie | 53% | 302 |
| #4 | Miracle^ | 52% | 210 |
| #5 | Holm | 51% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Holm | 51% | 283 |
| #6 | Arish££ | 50% | 54 |
| #7 | Sly | 49% | 59 |
| #8 | -PROPH3T- | 48% | 60 |
| #9 | -gofo | 43% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miracle^ | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Holm | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | A Wild Junkie | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Arish££ | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Sly | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holm | 712 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | A Wild Junkie | 532 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #3 | -gofo | 452 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Miracle^ | 412 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Arish££ | 152 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Wild Junkie | +1.76 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Arish££ | +1.56 | 59 | 72 |
| #3 | -gofo | +1.36 | 70 | 74 |
| #4 | aNdY-jOE | +0.63 | 69 | 83 |
| #5 | Miracle^ | +0.60 | 74 | 65 |





