








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1697 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2301 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2779 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1908 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,145,241 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImSchou | 48% | 60 |
| #2 | AssasS1No ✯ | 46% | 41 |
| #3 | Miracle^ | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | -gofo | 43% | 150 |
| #5 | Holm | 40% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AssasS1No ✯ | 46% | 41 |
| #3 | Miracle^ | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | -gofo | 43% | 150 |
| #5 | Holm | 40% | 104 |
| #6 | A Wild Junkie | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -gofo | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | AssasS1No ✯ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Holm | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | ImSchou | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -gofo | 473 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | Holm | 307 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | ImSchou | 200 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | A Wild Junkie | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | AssasS1No ✯ | 88 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -gofo | +2.04 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | AssasS1No ✯ | +0.96 | 47 | 75 |
| #3 | A Wild Junkie | +0.67 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | ImSchou | -0.05 | 52 | 69 |
| #5 | Miracle^ | -0.50 | 76 | 60 |





