








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 424 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 164 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6811 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6843 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5039 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2888 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,314,828 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 727 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aNdY-jOE | 52% | 44 |
| #2 | Sly | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | Holm | 46% | 303 |
| #4 | A Wild Junkie | 46% | 96 |
| #5 | ImSchou | 43% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | A Wild Junkie | 46% | 96 |
| #5 | ImSchou | 43% | 133 |
| #6 | -PROPH3T- | 43% | 150 |
| #7 | Miracle^ | 41% | 70 |
| #8 | AssasS1No ✯ | 35% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holm | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ImSchou | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | AssasS1No ✯ | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | -PROPH3T- | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Miracle^ | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holm | 946 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | ImSchou | 442 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | A Wild Junkie | 189 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Miracle^ | 184 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | -PROPH3T- | 148 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -gofo | +1.68 | 71 | 74 |
| #2 | A Wild Junkie | +0.92 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | AssasS1No ✯ | +0.54 | 52 | 73 |
| #4 | aNdY-jOE | +0.12 | 67 | 82 |
| #5 | Miracle^ | -0.14 | 74 | 65 |





