








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 69 | 21% |
| Smokes | 107 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 77 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 73 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,879 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stefan Salvatore | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Hypex | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Jeff | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Obl1nG | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Marcuz | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hypex | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Jeff | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Obl1nG | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Marcuz | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | S E J E R | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stefan Salvatore | 5 | 0.0446 |
| #2 | S E J E R | 3 | 0.0200 |
| #3 | Hypex | 2 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Marcuz | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stefan Salvatore | 50 | 0.45 | 1 min |
| #2 | S E J E R | 34 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | Marcuz | 27 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Hypex | 18 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jeff | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hypex | +4.87 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | Marcuz | +3.33 | 59 | 39 |
| #3 | Obl1nG | +1.18 | 96 | 58 |
| #4 | Yung John | -0.60 | 82 | 38 |
| #5 | S E J E R | -1.71 | 76 | 39 |





