








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 14% |
| Smokes | 678 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 895 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 770 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,371 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ERRØR BØY | 64% | 44 |
| #2 | Frost | 63% | 43 |
| #3 | s0mmer | 63% | 43 |
| #4 | Nope (I NEED FENT) | 63% | 43 |
| #5 | HejToby | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nope (I NEED FENT) | 63% | 43 |
| #5 | HejToby | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | L.U.I | Ex1r9amE | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | S E J E R | 31% | 16 |
| #8 | Hypex | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S E J E R | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | L.U.I | Ex1r9amE | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0mmer | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Frost | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | S E J E R | 61 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | ERRØR BØY | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nope (I NEED FENT) | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0mmer | +1.78 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | ERRØR BØY | +1.72 | 91 | 51 |
| #3 | Hypex | +1.39 | 76 | 48 |
| #4 | Obl1nG | +0.84 | 93 | 57 |
| #5 | HejToby | +0.52 | 59 | 85 |





