








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




109 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4156 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3571 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1206 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1811 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,073 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noobius (Pro Bottom Fragger) | 63% | 72 |
| #2 | xrx: | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | β€ wolf's β€ | 60% | 72 |
| #4 | Ladder | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Kita | 58% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β€ wolf's β€ | 26 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | Mandingo | 22 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | *+-Zerry-+* ( using temu mouse ) | 20 | 0.0210 |
| #4 | Kita | 19 | 0.0149 |
| #5 | Noobius (Pro Bottom Fragger) | 16 | 0.0114 |





