








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 830 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2047 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1853 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2153 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1306 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,421 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptik | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Akillez | 65% | 101 |
| #3 | MAXIMUSREKTIMUS | 65% | 63 |
| #4 | Pettson! | 65% | 40 |
| #5 | ryanspyan | 61% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JOIKAs | 59% | 46 |
| #7 | pungen | 56% | 34 |
| #8 | BRÆNCH | 52% | 181 |
| #9 | pappolini | 52% | 31 |
| #10 | boffl | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRÆNCH | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Akillez | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | pungen | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | ryanspyan | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Cryptik | 4 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRÆNCH | 338 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | ryanspyan | 328 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Pettson! | 307 | 0.36 | 10 min |
| #4 | Akillez | 293 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Cryptik | 190 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptik | +4.94 | 89 | 84 |
| #2 | Akillez | +2.92 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | Pettson! | +2.73 | 72 | 78 |
| #4 | BRÆNCH | +1.82 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | MAXIMUSREKTIMUS | +1.30 | 73 | 73 |





