








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,098 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3781 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3272 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1633 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2228 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $550,987 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timothy | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | BRÃNCH | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | MAXIMUSREKTIMUS | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | Akillez | 58% | 48 |
| #5 | ryanspyan | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danne đâž. | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | BRÃNCH | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Akillez | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Timothy | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ryanspyan | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryanspyan | 158 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Akillez | 146 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vissy | 134 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mitsukai āļ | 130 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | BRÃNCH | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pettson! | +3.45 | 73 | 79 |
| #2 | Akillez | +2.14 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | BRÃNCH | +1.73 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | Mitsukai āļ | +1.41 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | Vissy | +1.23 | 60 | 56 |





