








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 902 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1090 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1545 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1188 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,059 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marku$ | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | RiikaPiika | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Kevvumeans | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | PeanutButterFatty | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Yo mama so fat that you died | 35% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | RiikaPiika | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Kevvumeans | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | PeanutButterFatty | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Yo mama so fat that you died | 35% | 54 |
| #6 | omgdog | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marku$ | 5 | 0.0266 |
| #2 | Yo mama so fat that you died | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | PeanutButterFatty | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | omgdog | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | RiikaPiika | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marku$ | 90 | 0.48 | 2 min |
| #2 | Yo mama so fat that you died | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | RiikaPiika | 57 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kevvumeans | 32 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | PeanutButterFatty | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevvumeans | +3.92 | 55 | 68 |
| #2 | marku$ | +1.85 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Are you okay? | +1.45 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | PeanutButterFatty | -1.05 | 75 | 30 |
| #5 | omgdog | -1.06 | 50 | 37 |





