








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3273 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4660 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3365 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1684 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,059,072 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kert | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | Kivikirves | 58% | 93 |
| #3 | RiikaPiika | 56% | 165 |
| #4 | Kevvumeans | 55% | 278 |
| #5 | marku$ | 54% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kevvumeans | 55% | 278 |
| #5 | marku$ | 54% | 303 |
| #6 | mil lee | 52% | 251 |
| #7 | RI€O | 51% | 113 |
| #8 | RED LIGHT SABER | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marku$ | 59 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | RiikaPiika | 30 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Kivikirves | 17 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | mil lee | 16 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Kevvumeans | 15 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marku$ | 2309 | 0.36 | 55 min |
| #2 | Kevvumeans | 945 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #3 | RiikaPiika | 850 | 0.25 | 24 min |
| #4 | Kivikirves | 298 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | RI€O | 229 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kert | +4.79 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | Kivikirves | +2.46 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | Kevvumeans | +1.99 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | marku$ | +1.90 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | RED LIGHT SABER | +1.03 | 73 | 75 |





