








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 19% |
| Smokes | 277 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 195 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 299 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,205 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nakkokeese | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | ɐʞʞᴉɐls ᴉɹɐʇsǝɯ | 46% | 41 |
| #3 | OGPOSTI | 41% | 54 |
| #4 | BigWili | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | Seppo Raju | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ɐʞʞᴉɐls ᴉɹɐʇsǝɯ | 46% | 41 |
| #3 | OGPOSTI | 41% | 54 |
| #4 | BigWili | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | Seppo Raju | 38% | 24 |
| #6 | Tuntzab | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigWili | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | OGPOSTI | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ɐʞʞᴉɐls ᴉɹɐʇsǝɯ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | nakkokeese | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OGPOSTI | 189 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | ɐʞʞᴉɐls ᴉɹɐʇsǝɯ | 135 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | nakkokeese | 61 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | BigWili | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Seppo Raju | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nakkokeese | +3.09 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Seppo Raju | +2.90 | 82 | 39 |
| #3 | OGPOSTI | +1.19 | 59 | 61 |
| #4 | BigWili | +0.76 | 74 | 46 |
| #5 | ɐʞʞᴉɐls ᴉɹɐʇsǝɯ | -0.70 | 69 | 54 |





