








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 535 | 36% |
| Smokes | 405 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 221 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 342 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $204,785 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nakkokeese | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | ɐʞʞᴉɐls ᴉɹɐʇsǝɯ | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | PELJANDER | 41% | 54 |
| #4 | BigWili | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | Seppo Raju | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ɐʞʞᴉɐls ᴉɹɐʇsǝɯ | 44% | 39 |
| #3 | PELJANDER | 41% | 54 |
| #4 | BigWili | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | Seppo Raju | 25% | 12 |
| #6 | Tuntzab | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigWili | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | PELJANDER | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ɐʞʞᴉɐls ᴉɹɐʇsǝɯ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | nakkokeese | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Tuntzab | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɐʞʞᴉɐls ᴉɹɐʇsǝɯ | 122 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | nakkokeese | 60 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | PELJANDER | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | BigWili | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Seppo Raju | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nakkokeese | +3.02 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | Seppo Raju | +2.20 | 78 | 50 |
| #3 | OGPOSTI | +1.13 | 59 | 64 |
| #4 | BigWili | +0.49 | 74 | 48 |
| #5 | PELJANDER | -0.71 | 68 | 37 |





