








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1088 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5619 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4961 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6470 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2981 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,490,935 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 42 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Botting Green Dragons | 35 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Scout | 25 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | r1 | 19 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | sum ting wong | 13 | 0.0091 |





