








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5446 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3933 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6175 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2472 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,727,145 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImTheWorstCSPlayer | 62 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Botting Green Dragons | 39 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Scout | 25 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | . | 20 | 0.0077 |





