








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 122 | 20% |
| Smokes | 154 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 186 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 138 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,454 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | slacker | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | Brett aka "The Kid" | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Mr.Poop | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | weedsmokerbrylan (future marine) | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | Brandyboo | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slacker | +7.85 | 92 | 44 |
| #2 | weedsmokerbrylan (future marine) | +5.07 | 98 | 39 |
| #3 | Brandyboo | +1.38 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | Brett aka "The Kid" | +0.10 | 50 | 24 |
| #5 | Mr.Poop | -0.50 | 74 | 18 |





