








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1167 | 27% |
| Smokes | 660 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1174 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1252 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,346 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krypton | 81% | 26 |
| #2 | Mr.Poop | 47% | 62 |
| #3 | Brett aka "The Kid" | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Brandyboo | 35% | 34 |
| #5 | slacker | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krypton | 81% | 26 |
| #2 | Mr.Poop | 47% | 62 |
| #3 | Brett aka "The Kid" | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Brandyboo | 35% | 34 |
| #5 | slacker | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Poop | 14 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Brandyboo | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Brett aka "The Kid" | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krypton | 133 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | Brandyboo | 108 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mr.Poop | 25 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | slacker | 24 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Brett aka "The Kid" | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weedsmokerbrylan (future marine) | +3.19 | 78 | 49 |
| #2 | slacker | +2.28 | 78 | 48 |
| #3 | Brandyboo | +0.99 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | Krypton | -1.32 | 54 | 55 |
| #5 | Brett aka "The Kid" | -1.59 | 71 | 39 |





