








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 681 | 34% |
| Smokes | 295 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 772 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 251 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,978 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slacker | 48% | 100 |
| #2 | weedsmokerbrylan (future marine) | 47% | 62 |
| #3 | Brett aka "The Kid" | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | Brandyboo | 41% | 225 |
| #5 | Raisi’s helicopter technician | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brandyboo | 774 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | slacker | 128 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | weedsmokerbrylan (future marine) | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Brett aka "The Kid" | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Raisi’s helicopter technician | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slacker | +5.64 | 90 | 50 |
| #2 | weedsmokerbrylan (future marine) | +3.50 | 78 | 45 |
| #3 | Brandyboo | +1.68 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | Mr.Poop | -1.53 | 73 | 20 |
| #5 | Brett aka "The Kid" | -2.19 | 75 | 37 |





