










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1171 | 22% |
| Smokes | 281 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 2434 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 1345 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,205,031 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | TheChickenGod | 39% | 66 |
| #7 | LordOdysseus | 38% | 47 |
| #8 | Resourceful Gamer | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | George Droyd | 35% | 66 |
| #10 | The Elites Eat Babies | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaFloppa | 31 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | George Droyd | 22 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | TheChickenGod | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | LordOdysseus | 11 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | s1lver | 11 | 0.0282 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaFloppa | 292 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | George Droyd | 177 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | s1lver | 136 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #4 | TheChickenGod | 108 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | LordOdysseus | 101 | 0.11 | 2 min |





