










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 243 | 16% |
| Smokes | 433 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 413 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 425 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,589 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | LordOdysseus | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | littlegusgooglepoof | 44% | 86 |
| #8 | George Droyd | 41% | 56 |
| #9 | TheChickenGod | 38% | 50 |
| #10 | The Elites Eat Babies | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaFloppa | 21 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | George Droyd | 14 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | littlegusgooglepoof | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | TheChickenGod | 10 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | The Elites Eat Babies | 7 | 0.0467 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaFloppa | 194 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | George Droyd | 146 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | littlegusgooglepoof | 145 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | TheChickenGod | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Resourceful Gamer | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |





