










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 27% |
| Smokes | 855 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1493 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1290 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,377 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jon | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | TheChickenGod | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | s1lver | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | DaFloppa | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | NegroTrump | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1lver | 24 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | George Droyd | 21 | 0.0324 |
| #3 | ballsuckin | 17 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Jon | 16 | 0.0181 |
| #5 | DaFloppa | 14 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1lver | 260 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jon | 142 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | DaFloppa | 100 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | George Droyd | 93 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | ballsuckin | 84 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1lver | +6.39 | 94 | 56 |
| #2 | Jon | +4.79 | 85 | 46 |
| #3 | DaFloppa | +3.68 | 58 | 51 |
| #4 | TheChickenGod | +3.34 | 65 | 53 |
| #5 | ballsuckin | +1.12 | 71 | 36 |





