








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1869 | 41% |
| Smokes | 721 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 730 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1195 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,058 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beans McGee | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | condgates | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | ★ dak | 49% | 143 |
| #5 | IGet0Girls | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Chex | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | baquete | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | FISHI<3 | 40% | 25 |
| #9 | Andrew | 32% | 22 |
| #10 | Archy | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ dak | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | 9 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Chex | 9 | 0.0175 |
| #4 | IGet0Girls | 5 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | FISHI<3 | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ dak | 458 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | kasvatti☆ | 118 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | IGet0Girls | 94 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Andrew | 67 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | baquete | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baquete | +2.70 | 76 | 52 |
| #2 | ★ dak | +2.45 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | kasvatti☆ | +2.43 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | Andrew | +1.59 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | condgates | +1.01 | 42 | 35 |





