








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 958 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2794 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2742 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1354 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2091 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,518 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murmeli | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | ✪ Laisk4 | 51% | 118 |
| #3 | tompaxxi | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murmeli | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | ✪ Laisk4 | 51% | 118 |
| #3 | tompaxxi | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Laisk4 | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | tompaxxi | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | murmeli | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Laisk4 | 960 | 0.41 | 32 min |
| #2 | tompaxxi | 219 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | murmeli | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whistlin | +3.64 | 67 | 62 |
| #2 | tompaxxi | -1.52 | 32 | 65 |
| #3 | ✪ Laisk4 | -1.71 | 16 | 78 |
| #4 | murmeli | -2.35 | 19 | 42 |





