








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Wingman | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3458 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2025 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3966 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2972 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,694,813 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 826 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chucky | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | kriss jordan | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Strippar Pets | 51% | 161 |
| #4 | Angula Murkel | 49% | 87 |
| #5 | Nietzsche. | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nietzsche. | 47% | 45 |
| #6 | Major_Warfare | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | kang6666 | 42% | 38 |
| #8 | Thecrazygamer123 [DTCG] | 41% | 27 |
| #9 | Gottlob Neefe | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strippar Pets | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Angula Murkel | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Gottlob Neefe | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Major_Warfare | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Chucky | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strippar Pets | 594 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Angula Murkel | 404 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | Major_Warfare | 111 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | kang6666 | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chucky | 60 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOP G Fred Mane | +1.63 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | Nietzsche. | +0.93 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | Chucky | +0.80 | 41 | 62 |
| #4 | Strippar Pets | +0.78 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | Angula Murkel | +0.31 | 67 | 79 |





