








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5049 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4176 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3224 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2881 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,881 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Special Officer Doofy | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | kriss jordan | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | TheTaF | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | maddogwizard | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Chucky | 55% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Grete Paia | 196 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #2 | Empty | 178 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | TOP G Fred Mane | 150 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Klaabu | 141 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | kang6666 | 135 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kriss jordan | +2.06 | 58 | 76 |
| #2 | ✪Grete Paia | +2.05 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | Strippar Pets | +1.64 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | TOP G Fred Mane | +1.41 | 73 | 60 |
| #5 | Major_Warfare | +1.31 | 91 | 57 |





