








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1382 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2784 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 935 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2080 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,468,376 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3W5US | 60% | 90 |
| #2 | Strippar Pets | 47% | 92 |
| #3 | PeXumeeS | 45% | 216 |
| #4 | Thecrazygamer123 [DTCG] | 38% | 55 |
| #5 | TOP G Fred Mane | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Strippar Pets | 47% | 92 |
| #3 | PeXumeeS | 45% | 216 |
| #4 | Thecrazygamer123 [DTCG] | 38% | 55 |
| #5 | TOP G Fred Mane | 38% | 37 |
| #6 | taluniktiiu | 30% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3W5US | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | PeXumeeS | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Strippar Pets | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | TOP G Fred Mane | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Thecrazygamer123 [DTCG] | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strippar Pets | 307 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | j3W5US | 251 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | PeXumeeS | 147 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | TOP G Fred Mane | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Thecrazygamer123 [DTCG] | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j3W5US | +4.88 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Strippar Pets | +2.58 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | TOP G Fred Mane | +2.11 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | PeXumeeS | -0.03 | 63 | 33 |
| #5 | Gottlob Neefe | -0.86 | 64 | 29 |





