








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 212 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1894 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2231 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1691 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2084 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,400,377 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vorz | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Carbie | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | kas | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | KICKASS | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | Grand(elf) | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kas | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | KICKASS | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | Grand(elf) | 45% | 38 |
| #6 | emjaay | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | Thrifty | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kas | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | KICKASS | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Carbie | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Grand(elf) | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | emjaay | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grand(elf) | 265 | 0.33 | 7 min |
| #2 | Carbie | 198 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | KICKASS | 141 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Thrifty | 68 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | emjaay | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KICKASS | +0.78 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | aqum_ | +0.69 | 82 | 49 |
| #3 | Vorz | +0.64 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | Grand(elf) | +0.26 | 75 | 78 |
| #5 | Thrifty | +0.16 | 63 | 54 |





