








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1084 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 453 matches | ||
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7654 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8264 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6528 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 9574 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,709,698 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thrifty | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | Autismo | 53% | 115 |
| #3 | Grand(elf) | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | Carbie | 52% | 523 |
| #5 | emjaay | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Carbie | 52% | 523 |
| #5 | emjaay | 48% | 50 |
| #6 | Makka Pakka | 46% | 71 |
| #7 | aqum_ | 46% | 46 |
| #8 | ØscR | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carbie | 32 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Autismo | 26 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Makka Pakka | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | emjaay | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Thrifty | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carbie | 2094 | 0.19 | 53 min |
| #2 | Grand(elf) | 662 | 0.32 | 17 min |
| #3 | Makka Pakka | 389 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #4 | Autismo | 235 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Thrifty | 211 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emjaay | +1.34 | 81 | 48 |
| #2 | Grand(elf) | +0.91 | 80 | 76 |
| #3 | Carbie | +0.86 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | KICKASS | +0.40 | 67 | 66 |
| #5 | Thrifty | -0.10 | 64 | 62 |





