








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 998 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 662 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




212 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14395 | 44% |
| Smokes | 8691 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5947 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3335 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,399,840 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :( | 62% | 149 |
| #2 | anastasia<3 | 50% | 64 |
| #3 | Fentanyl Lover | 45% | 430 |
| #4 | HEISENBERG PREWORKOUT | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | durim_king | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :( | 62% | 149 |
| #2 | anastasia<3 | 50% | 64 |
| #3 | Fentanyl Lover | 45% | 430 |
| #4 | HEISENBERG PREWORKOUT | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | durim_king | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fentanyl Lover | 67 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | :( | 31 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | anastasia<3 | 26 | 0.0188 |
| #4 | durim_king | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | HEISENBERG PREWORKOUT | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fentanyl Lover | 1524 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | :( | 285 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | anastasia<3 | 107 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | HEISENBERG PREWORKOUT | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | durim_king | 32 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :( | +6.72 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | anastasia<3 | +3.60 | 74 | 49 |
| #3 | Fentanyl Lover | -0.27 | 48 | 47 |
| #4 | durim_king | -0.51 | 38 | 43 |
| #5 | Pearlybay | -0.73 | 36 | 63 |





