








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 319 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1786 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1289 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 723 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,653 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miakel skomakare | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Gamer | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | SoppierSoap_3529 | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | HEISENBERG PREWORKOUT | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | Benjussy | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Fentanyl Lover | 46% | 56 |
| #7 | PatuModen | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Pearlybay | 41% | 69 |
| #9 | anastasia<3 | 37% | 30 |
| #10 | n1gga | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pearlybay | 17 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Fentanyl Lover | 9 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | anastasia<3 | 9 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | HEISENBERG PREWORKOUT | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Benjussy | 5 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pearlybay | 408 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #2 | Fentanyl Lover | 199 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Benjussy | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | n1gga | 79 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | HEISENBERG PREWORKOUT | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer | +4.57 | 71 | 50 |
| #2 | miakel skomakare | +2.74 | 73 | 30 |
| #3 | anastasia<3 | +2.51 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | n1gga | +2.49 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | Benjussy | +0.80 | 69 | 52 |





