










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 323 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1663 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3193 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 1340 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,258,598 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scemo | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | switchwrlds | 43% | 182 |
| #3 | huffinfumes | 35% | 52 |
| #4 | awesomekoi | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scemo | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | switchwrlds | 43% | 182 |
| #3 | huffinfumes | 35% | 52 |
| #4 | awesomekoi | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | switchwrlds | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | scemo | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | awesomekoi | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | huffinfumes | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | switchwrlds | 470 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | scemo | 63 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | huffinfumes | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | awesomekoi | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scemo | +3.30 | 67 | 57 |
| #2 | awesomekoi | +0.45 | 39 | 32 |
| #3 | switchwrlds | -0.80 | 45 | 37 |
| #4 | huffinfumes | -1.01 | 42 | 39 |
| #5 | Paulie Walnuts | -1.49 | 24 | 27 |





